Matt Hackmann

To Become the Most Boring Person I Can Be

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This blog has once again fallen into dusty shambles. So, I'm going to kick in another post-a-day type experiment... starting tomorrow.

What I'm going to do is keep a daily log for a week, but instead of my usual type rambling, it'll be just 100% facts, completely devoid of emotion, opinion, or adjectives/adverbs (using as few as possible). A little something like this:

I woke up at 10:15am this morning. I didn't actually want to leave my bed, so I fished my iPad out from under my bed and checked my email, Facebook, and reddit. I decided to make German potato salad today but lacked all the ingredients required. After deliberation, I decided I would bike. I geared up, but after getting out the door noticed that my back tire was again low. I put the bike back in my apartment and took the car instead. Since I was no longer worried about distance or the roads I would need to take, I went to Safeway because they have a better selection of food than Target. Once at the store, I purchased potatoes, scallions, bacon, and white wine vinegar. After returning home, I cleaned a large pot to boil the potatoes in. They are currently boiling now.

Seems a bit like those old journal entries of mine, no?. For contrast, here's how I'd rewrite the first couple of sentences.

Given that I'm only half way into this day, I would label it as almost entirely ordinary. Consciousness began to return to me somewhere around 10:15a, about an hour later than my usual 9a (largely thankful to my late night of playing Danganronpa, no doubt). Despite the lateness, I didn't feel like leave the warm comforts of my bed, so I grabbed my iPad (generally kept beneath my bed) to entertain myself with. I did a quick check of my email, Facebook, and skimmed reddit. Despite Alien Blue being a pretty nice app, I don't like to "deep dive" into my usual subreddits on a mobile device because I feel the experience would be diminished on a small screen (moe must be observed with as many pixels as possible).

So, yeah. That's a thing I'm going to do because I'm otherwise bored and have little to write about (or am not willing to expend the effort in doing so).