Matt Hackmann

2011 Best of Anime Awards - A Bit of Character

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anime
review

Welcome back, and now for installment two of the 2011 Best of Anime Awards (Part 1, if you missed it).

Best Character

Chris - Rintarou Okabe (Steins;Gate)

Hououin Kyouma

Rintarou Okabe -- aka, mad scientist Hououin Kyouma -- is the main element that makes Steins; Gate amazing.

Okabe starts off over the top, telling everybody he's a mad scientist and making grand claims about a secret organization that's keeping tabs on him. Over the course of the show, however, you see him develop into a very troubled character as the show's events begin to take their toll on him. This depth later on really makes you feel for him as a character.

But you know what the best part is? He's an ass most of the time, but in a good way, asserting himself over his supposed suboordinates in an over the top fashion.

Gotta love it.

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2011 Best of Anime Awards

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anime
review

It's that time of year again. That is, the end of the year and the beginning of another. As has become a normal thing for my website, I am here doing reviews of anime series I watched during the year. However, I will be changing it up a bit and instead of reviewing everything, things will be done in a categorized award fashion. Joining me again this year are my brothers Jeff and Chris. So, without further ado, let's begin!

Why the Hell did I Watch That?

We Without Wings

Chris - First half of the first episode of We Without Wings

I'll be honest, I watched the first episode of this show because I wanted to see some mad panty shots. What did I get? An initial two minutes of fan service that made me uncomfortable, followed by ten minutes of a couple of dick weeds in a bar having a boring ass conversation.

I will never get those twelve minutes of my life back.Read More

Hear the Sultry Sounds of dxprog

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christmas
music page
video

I was minding my own business last night, doing some programming and listening to music via my music page (this part is key). All of a sudden, the song I'm listening to cuts out and I hear this. Unfortunately, due to the design of my music listening system, my living room stereo is controllable from anywhere, hence this was made possible.

But, I have also written things so that I can control the playlist of any person currently using the page. So, I fired the following back at my brother:

Best $0.99 I've ever spent on a karaoke song.

Disclaimer - This video will make your ears bleed.

The Deconstruction of a Christmas Song

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christmas
rant

It is that time of year again as so can be plainly seen by the appearance of Vulgar Santa on my site. So, given the spirit of the season, I shell delve into Christmas related subject. Today, I will be violently tearing apart a Christmas song (no, not the Nat King Cole one).

On the whole, I enjoy Christmas music. Arguably, I don't quite as much now as I did in my younger years, but it still is an important part of the season. There are, however, some songs I cannot stand. The Christmas Shoes ranks pretty high on that list, for example. And, of course, let us not forget songs about attempted Christmas date rape. Not to mention that song that ISN'T EVEN A FUCKING CHRISTMAS SONG!!!

Sorry, that one always hits a nerve.

Today, however, I will discuss Do You Hear What I Hear?. Aside from being incredibly repetitive and musically blah, the lyrics (when over-analysed) make about as much sense as mayonnaise taking a brisk vacation on the shores of Hawaii. So, let's begin!Read More

My Ideal First Date

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general

So, I was talking with an a college buddy of mine and he's all trying to get me to join the dating site "Plenty Of Fish". I went along with it for kicks and giggles, mostly just porting over info from my OkCupid profile (which I also maintain primarily for kicks and giggles). However, one question on there set my writing mind ablaze: "First date?". Now, this field was optional, but I really wanted to paint a picture for this one. Below is what I wrote:

A first formal date, in an ideal scenario, would pan out as such:

The time is 6:30. The sun is beginning to set, casting a crimson hue over the city. I gaze in the mirror to ensure everything is in order before heading down the stairs and entering my car. It's still thirty minutes early, but all has been calculated to arrive at her doorstep five minutes early given the distance and traffic for this time of day.

I arrive at the dwelling of my lady friend at 6:54pm, ever so slightly ahead of schedule. I take a deep breath, willing away my nervousness, step out of the car, and walk up to the door announcing my arrival by knock or door bell (if one is available). Lady friend opens the door and I comment her on how lovely she looks. We walk over to my chariot and I open the door for her, because I swing that way (pun intended).

Our first stop of the evening is to a mildly formal, sit down restaurant. We're not talking Chateau Le Blanc, but Fridays, Olive Garden, something in that vein. We make lighthearted conversation over the next hour and a half or so. We don't want to dawdle too long, because the movie begins at 9:15pm. I pick up the tab and we make our exit.

The choice of movie for the evening has been left entirely up to the lady friend. I do this because I'm shooting for date number two (when I get to pick the movie/activity). As we sit there in the dark, eyes taking in the sea of colors projected before us, I might just make a move to hold her hand. No putting my arms around her or anything. This is left for stage two. The movie over, we exit the theater and once again make our way to my ride (with all it's lack of "pimpin'") and, as I've done all night, I open the door for her. Chivalry isn't dead, ladies.

I return her to her place of dwelling and I see her to the door. I put out a couple of verbal probes to see how the evening fared. Second date and a continuation of seeing each other is my only goal, though a small peck on the cheek is most certainly welcome (nothing full on, this only the first date, people!).

I return to my house and reflect upon the evening. Once I'm bored of that, I fire up some porn and masturbate furiously for the rest of the night. The end!

I can see the throng of ladies making their way for my door already...