I was going to make a post going over statistics of the redditbooru CDN (I myself am not aware of the numbers), but seeing as how awstats is still churning through my 1GB log file and I need to be at the theater in half an hour if I want to see Gravity, you'll have to settle for another screenplay I wrote ten years ago.

RANGER BOB

EXT. FOREST - DAY

Two KIDS are throwing rocks into a lake when RANGER BOB steps out from behind some trees

RANGER BOB
Hey, you! Throwing objects into the lake is against
park rules!

KID1
Yeah, so what are you going to do about it?

Ranger Bob pushes both kids into the lake

KID2
Hey! I thought you couldn't throw things into the lake

RANGER BOB
I didn't throw you, I pushed you

Ranger Bob walks off as kids stare at him Some people are eating when Ranger Bob approaches

RANGER BOB
I'm sorry, but the park calorie limit is 500. Eating that
will exceed the limit. I'm afraid I'll have to take it.

Ranger Bob grabs food and walks off eating it humming

EXT. FOREST - NIGHT

Two kids are around a camp fire telling ghost stories Next to them is a sign that reads "No campfires beyond this point" and a line is marked.

KID1
And then he rose out of the darkness and said…

Shadow of Ranger Bob rises behind Kid1

RANGER BOB
This campfire is illegal.


KID2
No it ain't! We're not over the border.

Ranger Bob leans of and blows the fire so the flames are over the line

RANGER BOB
I'm afraid I'm going to have to write you two up.

Ranger Bob walks off

KID1
Jerk!

Ranger Bob is in front of a sunset

ANNOUNCER
Ranger Bob, the supreme symbol of national park authority.

Kid comes skipping across the scene and Ranger Bob runs after him

RANGER BOB
Hey you

THE END