Matt Hackmann


The thoughts and goings-on of some programmer dude.

The Ancient Art of Blood Letting

There are many ways one can attempt to sober up. Drink water, eat food, drink coffee, smack to the face, and so forth. I figured this evening, after a little bit of happy hour at work, I would work off the rest of my buzz by taking a quick bike around the trail behind the campus. So, I lifted a Google bike and did just that. As I felt my buzz decreasing, I decided it was about time to turn around and take myself home. So, when I saw a fork coming up in the road, I figured I would gracefully arc back around.

What you don't see is that there is a bit of a grade at this fork and road bikes don't have great traction. So, I wound up bleeding out the alcohol instead. (Don't click the break if you're not cool with the site of blood 'n shit.

This arm arguably got banged up the worst, but all of my limbs wound up with some level of scraped up. I haven't seen this much blood since my much younger years.

Due to probably the adrenaline rush, I was now completely sober. I biked myself back to work, did a quick patch job at the first aid station in the cafeteria, then made a trip to the store to pick up all of the first aid supplies I needed to finish the job (hint, I didn't even have so much as a band-aid at home). Luckily, those aforementioned younger years has given me quite a... CRASH COURSE in patching up wounds.