It is that time of year again as so can be plainly seen by the appearance of Vulgar Santa on my site. So, given the spirit of the season, I shell delve into Christmas related subject. Today, I will be violently tearing apart a Christmas song (no, not the Nat King Cole one).

On the whole, I enjoy Christmas music. Arguably, I don't quite as much now as I did in my younger years, but it still is an important part of the season. There are, however, some songs I cannot stand. The Christmas Shoes ranks pretty high on that list, for example. And, of course, let us not forget songs about attempted Christmas date rape. Not to mention that song that ISN'T EVEN A FUCKING CHRISTMAS SONG!!!

Sorry, that one always hits a nerve.

Today, however, I will discuss Do You Hear What I Hear?. Aside from being incredibly repetitive and musically blah, the lyrics (when over-analysed) make about as much sense as mayonnaise taking a brisk vacation on the shores of Hawaii. So, let's begin!

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So, I was talking with an a college buddy of mine and he's all trying to get me to join the dating site "Plenty Of Fish". I went along with it for kicks and giggles, mostly just porting over info from my OkCupid profile (which I also maintain primarily for kicks and giggles). However, one question on there set my writing mind ablaze: "First date?". Now, this field was optional, but I really wanted to paint a picture for this one. Below is what I wrote:

A first formal date, in an ideal scenario, would pan out as such:

The time is 6:30. The sun is beginning to set, casting a crimson hue over the city. I gaze in the mirror to ensure everything is in order before heading down the stairs and entering my car. It's still thirty minutes early, but all has been calculated to arrive at her doorstep five minutes early given the distance and traffic for this time of day.

I arrive at the dwelling of my lady friend at 6:54pm, ever so slightly ahead of schedule. I take a deep breath, willing away my nervousness, step out of the car, and walk up to the door announcing my arrival by knock or door bell (if one is available). Lady friend opens the door and I comment her on how lovely she looks. We walk over to my chariot and I open the door for her, because I swing that way (pun intended).

Our first stop of the evening is to a mildly formal, sit down restaurant. We're not talking Chateau Le Blanc, but Fridays, Olive Garden, something in that vein. We make lighthearted conversation over the next hour and a half or so. We don't want to dawdle too long, because the movie begins at 9:15pm. I pick up the tab and we make our exit.

The choice of movie for the evening has been left entirely up to the lady friend. I do this because I'm shooting for date number two (when I get to pick the movie/activity). As we sit there in the dark, eyes taking in the sea of colors projected before us, I might just make a move to hold her hand. No putting my arms around her or anything. This is left for stage two. The movie over, we exit the theater and once again make our way to my ride (with all it's lack of "pimpin'") and, as I've done all night, I open the door for her. Chivalry isn't dead, ladies.

I return her to her place of dwelling and I see her to the door. I put out a couple of verbal probes to see how the evening fared. Second date and a continuation of seeing each other is my only goal, though a small peck on the cheek is most certainly welcome (nothing full on, this only the first date, people!).

I return to my house and reflect upon the evening. Once I'm bored of that, I fire up some porn and masturbate furiously for the rest of the night. The end!

I can see the throng of ladies making their way for my door already...

First of all, arm yourselves with knowledge: ARM

So, recently, my bros have had a couple accounts hacked (one email, one Steam). Fearing that I was next in line, I started changing all my passwords using the scheme laid out above: very long passwords consisting of easy to remember normal words/phrases.

First, I changed my facebook password. It complained that my password was "weak", but allowed me to proceed.

Twitter was all "dude, that password is very secure" and I'm like "hells, yes. They get it."

My bank limited me to 14 characters, so I said fuck it as that's the only place I use that password and my user name and banking institution would need to be known. Also, they lock my account after three failed login attempts at which point I must call. Whatever, we'll let that one slide.

And then we come to Skype. Now, Skype is the only program that didn't get a password change after my too-commonly used password was leaked (in md5 hash form) from one of the lulz sec releases in the spring. (Why I didn't change it, I don't know). I figured now may was well be that time.

So, I entered skypeissomehowmuchbetterthanvoip into both boxes and it gave me the green check mark of "you're good". Click the submit button.

Okay, I disapprove, but whatever. I'll roll with it.

skypeiskindastupid

18 characters, close enough. Green check mark, submit.

...

Okay, fine.

fuckyouskypefucky00 (hard to tell with Georgia, but those are zeroes on the end)

19 characters, with numbers, plenty long and certainly memorable. Again, green check, submit.

So, let me get this straight. My old, six character, one number, one caps password is just fine and dandy, but a long string which (yes, contains words, repeating even) isn't? Really?

Needless to say, I'm a trifle pissed. And as I write this, I still haven't changed that password. And I'm going to email this to Skype and tell them exactly what I think of this bullshit.

Okay, soapbox done.

I've blogged about it before, so I'll keep the introductions short: for the last three years I've been developing, on and off, a web based music player. The last time I talked about features was v3 and I'm now two versions up from that. In today's post, I'll highlight version 4.

Click for larger view...

As you can see, v4 was hardly polished. It fell victim to the "I want to add new features but I don't want to design for it" that v3 had towards the end of it's life (hint: it's the row of links towards the top). v4 was the first to go three column, based loosely off of what Microsoft was doing with the Zune player. The first column was for albums, second for whatever-the-fuck-I-wanted (songs, trending and latest in this case), and the third was the current playlist.

Also introduced in this version was a new extensible player module. I had tacked HTML5 capabilities onto v3 down at the end of its life, but this was the first to be built with that in mind. Also, it was the first to be able to switch output sources (here's where the modular part comes in) from HTML5 to remotely controlled VLC, which would play music out of the server itself. This could be done on the fly without having to use a separate page entirely, as had been done.

Finally, I had made a few things that would aid in the finding of media. Based upon recorded play data, you could get a list of media that was trending in the last seven days. Also added was a search-as-you-type function to quickly locate songs.

Oh, and yes there's a "video" tab there, but it never did anything. I had grandiose plans to merge my separate "video page" into this, but they never panned out.

Ultimately, v4 was just a testing ground for a lot of ideas that all got packaged up neatly in v5...

So, how'd you like that month of non-blogging? I didn't think I could do it, but it turned out to be not so difficult. Yay me! Now that that's out of the way, let me weave you a tale.

Four days a week, I eat Hot Pockets(R) for lunch (the fifth is usually Subway). I have a very specific routine:

1. Walk to break room
2. Grab Hot Pocket(R) and set microwave for 2 minutes
3. Leave break room and take a leak
4. Return to break room and retrieve Hot Pocket(R)

Mundane, yes? Nothing special happening here, right? That's where you'd be wrong. By the time I return to the break room from the the bathroom, the microwave will read, WITHOUT FAIL, between 18 and 22 seconds left.

This routine, with all the variables (how fast I walk, how much I need to piss, people I might bump into along the way, etc), takes 1 minute and 40 seconds with an error rate of -2/+2 seconds. That's pretty damn good if you ask me.