Matt Hackmann


The thoughts and goings-on of some programmer dude.

Bloggy Blog 16 - HakkGPT

When doing these blog challenges, I generally try and find a way to churn out a least a few low effort posts. You've seen them this go 'round in the form of the "minute blogs". But, this is 2023 and we have technology and I cannot believe it only now dawned on me to have ChatGPT write a blog post for me. So, that's what I did. Here was my prompt:

matt hackmann is a 37 year old man who was born and raised in oklahoma and has resided in the san francisco bay area for ten years. he is a staff software engineer at surveymonkey, having gotten a start in software development as a teenager. he's been married to kayla for almost two years and has a new seven week old baby boy. his writing style is very casual, full of pop culture references and self-deprecating humor

write a blog article in the voice of matt hackmann about the challenges of being a new father

As you can see, I tried to set the stage with a little bit of who I am and a wee bit about how I might write. This is what it gave back:

Diapers and Dad Jokes: Navigating the Hilarious Chaos of New Fatherhood

Hey there, fellow humans of the internet! It's your friendly neighborhood software geek turned sleep-deprived dad, Matt Hackmann, here to share a little slice of life with you. Now, if you're in the same boat as me – juggling baby bottles, sleepless nights, and a desperate need for caffeine – you're in for a treat. Grab that leftover pizza slice, buckle up, and let's dive into the wild world of new fatherhood!

Chapter 1: "From Code to Cooing"

Remember the days when I used to debug code at 3 AM? Well, those late nights have taken on a whole new meaning now that I'm a dad. Instead of semicolons and brackets, it's all about deciphering the mysterious language of baby cries. Seriously, why didn't they teach us this in programming class? One day, I'll crack the code of whether "Waaah!" translates to "I'm hungry" or "Change my diaper, you rookie!"

Chapter 2: "Pop Culture to Poop Culture"

Gone are the days of binge-watching Netflix and debating whether Han shot first. These days, my pop culture references are all about baby burps, poop explosions, and "Baby Shark" on an infinite loop. The other day, I caught myself singing "Poop, there it is!" as I tackled a diaper blowout that rivaled a volcano eruption. Oh, the glamorous life of a dad!

Chapter 3: "From Sleepless to Speechless"

Remember those nights I'd spend perfecting lines of code? Well, let's just say my "code" these days is mastering the art of changing diapers in record time. Who knew it was possible to change a diaper while half-asleep? It's like a special ops mission – precision, speed, and absolutely no room for error. And don't even get me started on sleep deprivation. I used to survive on coffee; now I survive on the sheer force of will and maybe a few baby snuggles.

Chapter 4: "Self-Deprecating Dad Jokes"

Ah, the cornerstone of my personality: self-deprecating humor. It turns out that dad jokes and self-deprecation go together like peanut butter and jelly. Picture this: I'm in the grocery store, juggling a crying baby, a shopping cart, and a sudden realization that I forgot the one thing my wife told me to get. What do I do? I crack a joke about being the real-life embodiment of "Dude, Where's My Car?" Cue awkward laughter from other shoppers. It's all about survival, folks.

Chapter 5: "Changing Roles, Changing Diapers"

In the midst of all the chaos, there's one thing that's crystal clear: my role has changed. From coding algorithms to lullabies, from debugging software to soothing a fussy baby – it's been a rollercoaster. But let's not forget the rockstar partner in this adventure: my amazing wife, Kayla. Together, we tag-team parenting like the Avengers (minus the superpowers, unless you count the ability to function on minimal sleep).

So, there you have it, folks – a glimpse into the whirlwind journey of a software engineer turned dad extraordinaire. From geeky references to diaper disasters, it's all part of the hilarious ride. As I navigate this new world of fatherhood, one thing's for sure: my life will never be the same, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Until next time, keep calm and dad on!

Yours in sleep-deprived solidarity, Matt Hackmann

What can I say, this reads nothing like how I write now (where's the one-liner last zing of a sentance?), a little bit of how I may have written as a teenager/early-20 something, and a lot like a MadLibs. "Ah, the cornerstone of my personality: self-deprecating humor."? A little on the nose, ChatGPT. Oh, well. It was a lot of text for little effort.

I shan't do it again.